that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize