I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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