I wannas sexs uuuuu
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
