Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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