In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
