There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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