just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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