Swine flu. Run for my life!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
