Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
