Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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