Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
