im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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