I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
