you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
