I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
