So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize