Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
