I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize