just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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