Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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