In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
