There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
