I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
