her vagine was all disorganized.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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