..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
vagina is talking i cant
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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