hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
