I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
