you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
