You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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