I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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