this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize