Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
