How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize