who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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