That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
