Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
not ubering you a puppy
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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