Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
