forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
