Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
