JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
