Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Couch. On fire.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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