I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
