I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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