Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
