remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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