one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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