Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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