So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
