there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize