don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
