i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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