No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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