White coat. Heels.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
