Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
