I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
