mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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