even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
