There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
