is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He? As in you personified your dick?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
