No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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