they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
