between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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