we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
