After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
