i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They have beer where we have blood.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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